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It's really not easy to know what is going on all the time with our partners, is it? However with a little bit of careful thought and a sincere intention to find out, we can see things much more clearly by using the 7 Words method. It's a way of understanding the complexity of human interactions and can be applied to all aspects of relationship so that you quickly change your perspectives and get to a deep sense of what to do to improve things. Individual identity. Typically the vast majority of us need to become better focused about what we want. This is true for everything, from everyday practical matters to avoiding tricky and unpleasant emotions. The puzzle is to reach a clear mind and then to find the solutions to problems. The 7 Words System offers a clear-cut innate procedure that permits us to get a much better appreciation of what it is that we are trying to find. This starts with No. In the beginning we have to identify exactly what we do not want what is not useful, before we can know what we do want. Opening up to new ideas about oneself and others. The following phase relates to the word Hello. We will need to open up to new potential if we have a desire to expand our variety of keys to the troubles that life throws up. Is that reasonably logical? To get something different we will need to widen our perspectives and look where we have not formerly looked earlier. Novel thoughts, new contacts , new places and new things are all aspects of giving attention to something we have not up to that time come into contact with. It requires that we substitute old for new, that can tender something in adequate return for what we want to acquire. Among all existing options, some are more desirable than others and we feel we want to treat them as having a greater meaning, because we appreciate them more. This is explained by the primary word Thanks. Repeatedly, we disregard the worth of what we have, slip into ungratefulness and are likely to presume things will always be the way they have been before. Appreciating your partner. It's more than simply a courtesy to let somebody see our appreciation for things we value; it has a significant part to play in helping us to achieve our ends. In some unconscious way, we are magnetized to what we communicate gratitude for, and yet it's equally accurate to say that we will be able to attract them to us too. We develop pull when we say Thanks and therefore, when we do so, we effortlessly bring things towards us. Making decisions together. Goodbye is the fourth of the 7 primary words and has to do with a process that has 4 clearly defined stages. They are: realization, decision, completion and moving on. Goodbye is being said to a particular stage of change, and therefore is understood simply as full-blown refutation of a viable path of action that previously we had been stepping towards and in future will not follow. It is a crossroad point in our range of would-be futures. Goodbye is different from No because it suggests that we have had some level of connection already, which now needs to end contrasted with No's negation in the first place. True decisions cut the past away totally and that incisiveness makes an opening of a doorway that otherwise does not appear. The future reveals itself according to the customs of what has gone before unless we take control of it and shape it to our needs. To do this compels us to have a vision of how we want it to be; this vision has to be very clear, specific and positive converted into intention. They differ don't they - vision and intention? The first is to some extent dreamlike and the second is much more concentrated and controlled. Joint visions and ventures. For a dream to become real there must be cooperation. Nothing can be completed without winning the benefit of other people - this takes competence, probably arguments, even encouragement. It is not always necessary to present something such as money or money's worth. Sorry, the sixth word, is best seen as making good damage done whenever we've been uncaring or unmindful to the circumstances of someone else. The best idea is to make sure we avoid the need to say it by being thoughtful sooner. Why? Well it's because anyone we upset could easily be inclined to act against our better purposes and diminish our chances of success, so it is obviously more wise to take into account others as well as ourselves. Apologizing. It is all about being responsible, having a degree of feelings towards anyone we've upset and offering reimbursement when we've gone astray . Then and only then is it feasible to forestall or repair resentment and release the enduring unpleasantness that otherwise would increase and become further aggravated. Staying excited and enthusiastic. The final phase of our 7 Words approach relates with acceptance; there are times when we simply have to admit what we cannot change. The word is Yes. It would be delightful wouldn't it if we were able to make the world exactly the way we envision it - but in reality we can't. We always need to take what comes, and to take what is not exactly what we asked for. The best secret is to have conviction that everything eventually turns around to our advantage, that the modifications to our plans are all improvements when understood in the perspective of the longer term. Definitely it's not easy to see it when we are still close and attached to our desires of course not! In spite of that hold your fire and you'll see that the unexpected incidents, the surprises and disenchantments are actually the best bits masked as hardships. James Burgess 2008 http://www.7words.co.uk/life-management/livingtogether
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